


Legend Of A Lost Voice

by Silver_Specter



Category: Original Work
Genre: Blood and Gore, Denial of Feelings, F/F, F/M, Family Loss, Fluff and Angst, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Multi, Original Character Death(s), Slow Build, Slow Romance, Slow To Update, Threesome - F/F/M, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-01-11 20:28:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 11,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18431516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_Specter/pseuds/Silver_Specter
Summary: D is a 21 year old girl coming from an unusual family: each of them has power, a gift.Everything changes when a car accident leaves D forever injured and without a family, so she decides to go back to her hometown.One night, somethings really strange happens and D wakes up in a world turned upside down...





	1. Fading Away

**Author's Note:**

> Every chapter was inspired by a song, for the words or for the melody, sometimes both.  
> For this one we have Numb by LinkinPark
> 
> All the chapters were beta-read by lovely write-gallagher on Tumblr!
> 
> Any kind of feedback is appreciated, be it about editing or just thoughts about the story. Thank you!

The cold breeze blows in my face when I get out of the clinic, a cheerful "See you next week, D!" following me from the slowly closing door. Whatever. How can the nurse be so cheerful, knowing full well what happened? I don't feel anything anymore. I'm empty, numb.

The breeze returns and I shiver. Is it starting to snow? My hands are full and I can't put on my scarf, I have no choice but to sit down. I shuffle towards the bench near the bus stop, still not used the crutches. When I sit down it's painful, my legs from the knees down and my right arm aching from the therapy. I sit there while the pain fades, crutches and medical file carelessly dumped next to me.

Then, another gust of cold wind reminds me to put my scarf on. I get it from my tote bag and stare at it: it's a Slytherin scarf, directly from London... Kane got it for me on my 20th birthday, ordered it online. He said "Slytherin's colors suit your eyes and hair," whilst smirking. Smartass little brother. I guess not many people have almost white irises.. and that was only the "neutral" color, since my eyes change color every so often. Don't get me started on the hair. Mom said that the firstborn daughter always inherited strange hair in our family. Too bad Ros wasn't born a girl, he would have rocked the black hair with the dark green fade. Not that people got to see any of that, courtesy of brown contacts and black hair dye... which never lasts long on my hair, unfortunately.

I snap out of my musings and wrap the scarf around my neck, cuddling the oversized leather jacket closer to my body. The jacket was Ros'. I know twins can be very different from each other, but the contrast between our builds has always baffled me. But then again, I AM a girl. It was his favorite jacket, said it helped him with the girls... Yeah right, I got more dates than him without the lucky leather. While we were ok with casual dating, a meaningful and deep relationship was a no go. We both were too sacred to tell our secret to the wrong person and you couldn't have a truly deep relationship while hiding something this big. Tety, our little sister, really liked this girl, but... yeah. That was... hard for her, to say the least. She gave up after Ros refused to tell her if he sensed mutual feelings between the two of them, believing he stayed quiet because her "love" was unrequited. Ros later told me that he knew that the girl liked Tety as well, but thought it was best to end the situation as soon as possible... while Tety still hadn't fallen in love. I often felt cursed because of my own power, but at times like this, Ros' gift felt like a curse too.

After that, I'd often wonder if Ros longed to find love, to finally be himself with someone who wasn't family. Mom told her secret to Dad because she loved and trusted him, and they then went on to have 4 children: twins, me and Ros, then Tety and finally Kane... now aged 20, 18 and 17. We're a tight knit family... were. Now they all are-

The approaching noise of the bus draws me out of my dark thoughts. I gather my things and wait for it to stop. When the door opens, I get on and make my way to the very last seat, since my stop is the last. When I sit down, my medical file slips out of my bag and on the next seat. I glance at it: it says "Avitus, D-" but as soon as I see the first letter of my name I look away. I don't need a reminder of what happened.

I rest my head on the window. The last thing I want is to fall asleep, because I will dream and I will remember, but my eyes are heavy and slip shut. No matter how hard I try to avoid looking at what's written on the file, this was bound to happen. Because you can't run from your name.

So I fall asleep.

And the darkness finds me.


	2. In The Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haunted by Evanescence is the song for this chapter
> 
> Warning: This chapter is graphic. Descriptions of injuries and blood.

It's dark. Pitch black. I find myself walking, not knowing where to go. There's an ancient looking lantern in my hand, where did it come from? How long has it been in my hand?

Shuffling footsteps approach me from behind and i turn around. What I see is... my mother, but the sight doesn't put me at ease like it usually does. Her clothes are torn, dirty and charred, the skin I can see through the holes is burned red and blistering. Her right leg is a bloody mess, so messed up that I can't tell where her foot is, or if it's missing altogether. Her beautiful chocolate brown hair is matted on one side, slick with blood. So much blood, it covers almost all her face. The contrast with her deep blue eyes is morbid. The sky blue marks on her face glow beneath her gory mask, the tiara-like design above her eyebrows and the little tunderbolts just under her eyes barely recognizable. Why are they glowing? She can't be doing magic... Not in this state.

I'm frozen in place. Is she looking at me? I don't want her to look at me. Gods forgive me, but i don't want her to look at me.

Silence reigns in this twisted land. The only sound is the one made by the blood that steadily drips down her right arm and lands on the floor. Plick... plick... plick... It's driving me insane. I'm thinking it couldn't be any worse, but I'm so very wrong. 

She starts speaking. Her voice is scratchy and raw, almost hissing. As if... A shiver runs down my spine. As if she had screamed for a long time.

"It buuurnsssss... It huuuurtssssss..."

She takes a step towards me, i hear a bone snap when she puts weight on the ravaged and bloody mess that is her leg. She lets out a chilling sound between a groan and a whine.

"Whyyyyyyy..? Why would youuuu... leave ussssss... in theeereeeee..?"

She starts wailing, blood pouring out of her mouth. I'm so focused on her that I don't hear the other person coming up behind me until he brushes past me and goes to stand next to mom.

It's dad. He looks... normal. Mundane. Even more so compared to his bloody wife.

Until he speaks.

He opens his mouth and bloods falls freely from the hole I know is in the roof of his mouth. The blood falls on his pure white shirt and looks so very, very bright.

I don't know how he can make words though the blood. His voice is wet and bubbling, but i can understand him.

"This is... your fault... All your fault... You just... had to... didn't you..?"

I don't answer. I can't. Because they're right. It's my fault. All my fault.

A freezing hand lands on my shoulder, and another voice speaks. This one is clear.

"You just had to ask that..."

I turn in what seems slow motion.

"... didn't you..."

The only thing I can see is those mismatched eyes of his. Those eyes that haunted me ever since that day, clouded over.

Dead.

"... Sis?"

The only thing I can do is scream.

So I scream while shadows rush to me.

And the darkness swallows me whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to give a bit of context, maybe a flashback, but it got *a bit* out of hand...  
> Sorry?


	3. Memoirs Of The Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we have Make This Go On Forever by Snow Patrol.
> 
> Writing this chapter while listening to this song made me feel a lot.

I jolt awake, a hand on my shoulder gently shaking me awake. It's the same bus driver as always, whose name I still don't know.

"Hey little lady. It's the last stop."

I glance at his name plate: "Jacob B." He could work as Santa during winter with how he looks.

"Thanks." I croak out.

The jolly old man helps me out of the bus and makes sure I'm stable on my feet before waving and driving away. What a kind person. Endangered species.

Here I am again. I look at the metal gate and feel a dull ache. The metal plate on one of the pillars says "Sherbrooke Cemetery". I see the car I shared with Ros near the gate, right where I left it. It's a black 1967 Chevrolet Impala, like the one seen in Supernatural. I missed so many episodes... I don't even know what's going on anymore.

I take the keys out of the bag and open the passenger door to dump my bag in the seat so I only have my file and the car keys with me. And the crutches, of fucking course. I leave the phone in the car as well. There's no one to call.

I jam the file into my jacket and make sure it doesn't fall out before starting to walk to the usual place. I don't think this is a healthy coping mechanism.

As I walk along the many graves, a cat runs past me while chasing something. It's a pure white cat, how unusual. Even more unusual is the color of its eyes: one blue and one yellow. Mismatched. A dull ache sparks briefly in my heart. I keep walking.

I finally reach my destination: the family mausoleum. Mom had it built here too. There's two, one the exact copy of the other. I once asked her why she had built two but the only answer I got was a mysterious smile. It's ancient looking and when I enter the first thing I see is the stained glass that covers the entire back wall.

On my left and right there are the graves, only... these are empty. They're not here. They're back when it all started.

There's a bench facing the entrance, in the middle of the colorful wall. I carefully plop down and space out for a bit. After a while, i take my file out of the jacket and skim through it. A deep sigh leaves my mouth after I close it again.

So this is it, huh. Apparently, since the doctors took so long deciding what to do with my legs, whether to amputate or not, the damage is irreversible. I'm never going to get better than this.

I just close my eyes, not thinking about anything and my mind inevitably drifts back to that last day, remembering every little detail.

How Kane tried to hide the black marks over his brown eyes with Tety's make up, his dark brown hair still messy from sleep, his glasses askew. He had the simplest marks, two straight lines that ran from above his eyebrows to below his eyes, right in the middle.

Tety trying to do the same to her own marks, azure green and starting between her eyebrows, going down the sides of her nose and finally diagonally over her cheeks. Another thing she had to hide was her eyes, yellow like a cat's, with contacts.

Dad buttoning his white shirt and combing his salt and pepper hair to keep it from falling into his brown eyes, the same color as Kane's.

I remember dad kissing mom softly, her blue eyes full of happiness and love and lightheartedness, even with her marks hidden away under makeup.

And then I remember him, Ros, my twin, the other half of my soul: black hair like my own, shaved around his head and longer on top, brown right eye like dad's and the other one a deep pink and surrounded by a tribal-like mark, the ever present smile and playfulness. He was always there when i needed him as i was there for him. He always had my back as I had his. All our family was always there for each other.

But now they're gone. Dead, all of them.

I hunch over, head in my hands, covering my eyes. But I don't cry. There's no more tears left in me.

If I could go back to those times when I had it all and never even knew, tell one thing to my past self... there's only one thing I'd say.

Make this go on forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not have used memories to describe people.
> 
> Also, I'm weirdly fascinated by cemeteries and mausoleums.


	4. Back To The Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is Start Again by Onerepublic because I love me some Onerepublic.
> 
> Warning once again: mention of suicide and description of how it happened.

When I lift my head the sun is starting to set and I've come to a decision, one I didn't even know I had to make.

If the sun is setting then it's already 4pm. It sounds early for a sunset, but then it's the 24th of December and it's Canada we're talking about. It gets cold.

I get out and lock the door before making my way to the car, getting in. I still can drive, even with my fucked up legs. I had the smart idea of geting hand pedal controls for when my legs hurt too much to drive normally.

Between here and where I'm going it's just 20km or so, a 20 minute drive.

Even with my decision made, it takes me a while to start the car. I keep looking at the cemetery, even knowing that they're not here.

I didn't even get to attend their funeral since i was in a damn coma. Dad went alone and look where that got him. At home with a bullet in his mouth... shot from his gun by his own hand. He attended the funeral, went home and fucking shot himself.

He saw me only once, when I got out of surgery. I wake up 2 weeks after the accident and not only am I told that all my siblings and my mother are dead, but when I ask about where my father is they tell me he fucking killed himself. How could he, knowing I'd be left alone? In a twisted sort of way I could understand if he thought I'd never wake up again, but after only a week? I'm so angry at him I can almost taste it. But I also miss him, miss them all.

The engine starting snaps me back to reality but... when did I turn the key? I shake my head. Whatever. It's time to try and move on, start again. Even if I go back where all the Avitus rest, my father too.

It's been almost 3 months and no time seems to have passed for me. I'm still stuck in that afternoon on the 1st of October.

First things first: groceries. I stop at the nearest grocery store to get something to eat when I get "home", something fast like instant noodles and pizza. I can get away with junk food, at least for a while. Chips, cookies, bottled water, soda... I pay and get out of the store as fast as I can, the place is deserted and i want to be out while there's no people still. I put the bags in the back seat and strap them in so they don't fall.

I move to go back behind the wheel, but then I decide to perch myself on the hood of the car for a minute. I look up. The sky is dark, but i can't see a single star... too much light pollution. I can't even see the moon, must be a new moon tonight.

I remember mom telling me and Ros about the tradition in our full names, how the Avitus children, no, all of our kind was almost named after constellations, stars, planets and galaxies instead of-

Something glittery shoots across the dark sky. Is it a shooting star? I hope so. I hope it brings me a little bit of peace, just for a little while.

I take a deep breath and get into the car. I guess it's time to go... to go back "home".

And I have a feeling that this is going to change everything. But for the better or for the worse? I don't know.

Only one way to find out.

I start driving.

I'm going home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anger issues and a lot of stalling?  
> In my story?  
> It's more likely than you think.


	5. Empty Home, Empty Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, we have Price by Koethe Koethe.  
> He's... an indie artist? Is that the right term?  
> Who knows.

The road is dark and only a few lamp posts are working. Why don't they fix them?

I stop at a red light and my eyes fall on the radio. I have no intention of turning it on... and I never will.

The last time it was on was on that last day. Me and Ros were singing while going to school, just like always. Neither of us thought we'd go to university, but there we were: University of Sherbrooke, Biological Engineering.

Together once again, never apart. It wasn't that... 'sick' relationship some twins had, we just swore to each other to always be there when the other needed it. Our shared motto was "You will never be alone".

Sometimes... sometimes, in the especially dark days, I wish we had grown apart growing up. I always regret thinking that soon after.

We used to sing together and if someone overheard they'd tell us to start a band or something along those lines.

But we never did.

Our voices were for our loved ones, to sing of happiness in the good times and of sorrow when even the sky seems to cry because you are. To give sound to those wordless emotions we all experience.

"Immortal," he used to say, "our voices are immortal because we sing with feeling and that memory remains in the people who heard us".

But my voice is now dead. I can't sing anymore, not without him.

_...but it's not dead... only lost..._

I swear I can hear his voice whispering in my right ear.

Maybe he's right, maybe I'll sing again. But I don't think so.

In the end, my voice is such a small price to pay for my mistake... If only I hadn't suggested that family outing...

The distant screech of a tire reminds me that it's not safe to drive distracted, even if I'm the only one on the road. Which is strange, since it's late but not the middle of the night.

It's almost 6pm when I see the familiar welcome sing "Welcome to North Hatley".

I'm back. Home. We were all born here... us kids I mean. Actually, i don't think mom ever told us where she was from. I think somewhere in Europe, but I can't be sure.

Thankfully I don't have to drive through the city, just have to follow the edge of the lake to the dirt road leading in the woods. Scary, right? Wrong.

Ah, there it is. It's a little cabin, like those tiny and movable houses people are so fond of nowadays. It's made of wood and the big porch is built on a wooden platform over the shore of the lake, on the water.

I park beside the cabin and get out.

As I stand on the porch I realize I may have been a bit... impulsive. I have no clothes apart from what I'm wearing and the only food I have is junk food.

This might be... No. It's just an inconvenience. If I want stuff I just have to go into town.

I unlock the door and go inside. The ceiling over the entrance is a little low because of the small loft but the living room area in front of me has a regular ceiling. The stairs are on the left. Directly to my left are the washing machine and dishwasher, to my right the fridge, oven/cooker and sink. The living room is cozy, couch to the right wall, table in the centre on a fluffy carpet and a stone fireplace on the back wall. On the left is the door to the tiny bathroom, only a toilet, and a bookcase. Both floor and walls are made of wood.

I take a couple of steps inside and sit on the couch. I look up and see the loft. I know that there's a queen size bed up there with a nightstand, a small window that looks over the lake.

I have to get up and get my things inside.

Let's get moving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spooky but not so spooky?  
> A whole lot of situations where things could have led to murder but magically didn't.


	6. Bitter Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I Go, I'm Going by Gregory Alan Isakov is up next!  
> You may have heard this song in The Haunting of Hill House, which left me crying.

While I put the munchies away in the cupboards above the cooker and washing machine I find something unexpected. It's a bag of powder for making hot chocolate and it's still good. I decide to make that instead of the noodles, I'm not hungry anyway.

I remember seeing an armchair outside and i think it was in a pretty good condition, considering it's always outside... but how? This seems to be a recurring theme lately. Things that I can't explain.

Well, no use overthinking it. So I make my hot chocolate, grab a soft and fluffy blanket from the couch and head outside.

Just as i reach the door my eyes start to itch. Right, i have to get rid of the contacts. The only mirror in the house is near the big window behind the couch. Shit, do i have to stay standing? Shit. I don't think my legs can take it. No wait, there's a stool in the corner, thank the Gods.

After I get them out I stare at my eyes in the mirror: I can see the hint of ruby red around the pupil, as if my eyes are about to change color. But after a few seconds the red fades away to the almost white of always. I let out a sigh. They've been stuck since I got out of the hospital. I don't know why.

I get up, turn on the Christmas lights on the porch and go out with my hot chocolate and blanket.

This house... it's full of memories. Mom gave birth to all of us here, which is kinda gross to think about. It's also where we all lived when it was only mom, dad and me and Ros. But then Tety came and it was too tiny to live in.

This is where I recovered from the first accident. My car was pushed into the lake by another car while I was coming here, two years ago. Me and Ros came here for a weekend break. I almost drowned. And got a scar over my nose, a straight horizontal line from one cheek to the other.

I remember lying on the hospital, eyes closed, while Ros held my hand.

I remember him saying "Don't leave me here alone, please..."

"Duh. If I go, I'm going with you." I whispered back to him.

He startled, then laughed through his tears.

In the end, he was the one to leave me. I don't resent him, any of them really. I never could. Maybe dad, but I'm sure it'll pass with time. Maybe.

Oh the irony. If I died that day... they would all be here. It would have been better.

... _your life is precious, snowflake_...

It doesn't feel that way.

I wish you were here for real Ros... Instead I'm stuck with hearing your voice, fully knowing I'm slowly going insane.

Snowflake. His nickname for me, because of my eyes. And for having such a strange power.

I finish the hot chocolate and put the empty cup on the rail. I snuggle in Tety's dark gray hoodie and let my gaze wander over the dark and calm lake.

I know it's not helping move on, but i decided to take something from everyone, even dad. Tety's oversized hoodie, Kane's vowen bracelet, Ros's leather jacket, dad's police badge and mom's elegant wristwatch. I'm wearing all of them apart from the jacket, which is on the couch, and the badge, currently resting in the hoodie's pocket.

Which reminds me, what time is it? I look at the watch.

Huh. Past midnight. 25th December. Merry Christmas, i guess.

This is the worst Christmas ever.

And happy fucking birthday to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D is apparently very accident prone.  
> This chapter gave me so many feels...  
> I feel bad for killing off Ros, he had so much potential as a character.


	7. 6th Sense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hollow by Koethe Koethe is the song I chose because I absolutely love this dude and his songs.

A ray of sunlight falls on my face from the window above my head. No nightmares tonight, thank the Gods.

Crawling to bed had been a bit of a challenge yesterday night since I had to leave the crutches at the bottom of the stairs, but luckily the steps were big since they doubled as wardrobes. Wardrobes in which I found a pair of my PJs... surprise of surprises.

Mom's wristwatch on the bedside table tells me it's 10.30. A good time to get up.

But first things first.

One thing i managed to get up here is my tote bag and inside... is Ros's Christmas gift to me. I found it in the secret panel in his closet back in Sherbrooke.

The gift I got him was a pre-paid tatto. A big one. We were supposed get one together.

He never got to do it.

So i did it for him. On my chest now rests a raven with open wings, its head right under the hollow of my throat. It hurt... but not as much as losing my entire family.

My present is something more solid though: a small box the size of my forearm wrapped in blue, snowflake-patterned paper. Snowflakes. Oh Ros...

I carefully unravel the paper and open the black box: inside is... a fabric sheath? Wait... I open the sheath and find, holy shit, throwing knives!? Fuck, Ros got me aeroblades! There's 9 blades inside, 3 are black, another 3 are silver and the last 3 are fucking RAINBOW colored. Chrome. And they all have a Chinese dragon carved on them.

Good Gods. I have no words. He got me knives, which may very well be illegal. Well. Ok. Awesome.

Moving on.

I, huh... have to get in town. I need clothes. I hate going to busy places but I have to go. I can't wear my Umbreon pj forever, even if I want to. I may also need food.

I change into my "out" clothes and crawl down the stairs, sitting down at each step. I skip breakfast because eating noodles in the morning is gross and I'm keeping the hot chocolate for the evenings.

I put phone and wallet in my bag and get out. Don't forget to lock the door.

Apparently it snowed in the night but fortunately I chose to wear my combat boots yesterday.

The drive to town doesn't take long, unfortunately.

There's a cute little shop that sells sweaters and other winter wear AND there's only two people inside. That's the best I'm gonna get, so I go in. The bell above the door jingles and alerts the cashier. Great.

"Welcome!" She calls out.

I smile at her and nod. I'm not in the mood to talk but I still have good manners.

I browse around with one hand, thanking myself for having the forethought of bringing only one crutch.

I walk past the other woman in the shop nervously, but the only thing I sense from her is a mild annoyance over the snow in the street. My arms are super itchy now.

In the end I settle on a pair of socks, 2 pairs of jeans and 3 sweaters and long sleeved shirts. I pay with the pre-paid card mom gave me for my birthday/Christmas and put the bag in the back seat.

Next stop: grocery store. This one's a bit trickier. More people. Oh yeah, definitely more people.

I quickly grab the minimum to survive for a couple of days and put it in the basket I got at the entrance. Milk, cereal, pasta, tomato sauce and a couple steaks.

Everything is good until I reach the checkout.

A few lines down my right there's a couple and they're arguing, it's clear as day. And even if I can't hear what they're saying, their emotions reach me loud and clear: anger, it's so hot it burns my tongue and feels like I'm about to breathe fire. Jealousy, it makes my skin feel raw as if I was scratching at it for days. Betrayal, my very bones ache it cuts so deep. I feel a headache starting behind my eyes.

By the time I pay the headache has become full blown. I bolt out of the store and go back to the car as discreetly as I can.

Once inside I let out a relieved breath. I hate this, my power: sensing everyone's negative emotion and feeling them as physical sensations.

Mom got to do magic tricks, Ros sensed love in every form, Tety could cast protective charms and made friends with cats, Kane was smart as hell... and i got this.

I guess mine and Ros' power could overlap sometimes, like when love was sick or obsessive or something, but still. He didn't experience it. It didn't make his skin crawl with a million bugs.

Still. This who I am. I am an Ancient.

If there are other families of Ancients then I don't know where they live.

Our powers are connected to the Gods, wherever they are now. It's a blessing for some people.

For me it's a curse. Everything else would be better than this.

Even being hollow.

... _are you sure about that?_...

I don't answer his question.

This calls for knife throwing practice. I need to blow some steam.

After some painkillers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The secrets are unveiled! At least, a couple of them...  
> In the beginning D was only supposed to detect negative emotions, but i think this is better!  
> I may be a bit of a sadist. Or is it masochist because of the POV?  
> We will never know.


	8. Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Greatest by Sia just because.

The blade makes a satisfying 'thunk' as it embeds into the tree trunk.

I lost count of how many times I've thrown the knives, but i can say that it's very therapeutic. It made me loose myself in the motions, making me forget about today's happenings. Even if it was only for an hour or two.

I yank the knife out of the wood, sit on a tree stump and look at my watch. 5 minutes, nice. I stood without crutches for 5 minutes before my knees started trembling.

Another thing the watch tells me is that it's almost 2pm.

I should really eat something. I fix myself a cup of instant noodles and go back to sit on the stump. Maybe I should have made pasta but it's too long a process and i have no will to do that.

So... what should I do now? I threw knives, i went shopping, i almost passed out at the grocery store... Now what?

My limbs are starting to get stiff, i notice. But it's not even that cold... I shake myself and go inside.

Ah right, i have to wash my old clothes. I take a sponge bath in the kitchen, since there isn't a shower in the bathroom. Even if there was, i wouldn't be able to stay standing long enough to take a shower.

After I'm done I change into one of the new pair of gray jeans and a dark green sweater and load the washing machine.

In the meantime I start cleaning the blades: they're really well done, especially the carving. I carefully sharpen them as well using the whetstone that was in the gift box.

I started practicing knife throwing a couple years ago, with Ros. He'd get pissy because he wasn't as good as me and I'd tell him that we just had different fields of expertise. Mine just happened to be excelling at handling blades of every kind. His had been parkour and i used to be maybe a bit jealous as well. Now, well. I don't think I'd be very good at parkour anyway.

I'm proud of my knife related skill, I worked hard and when I was younger I promised I would keep working hard until I'd become the greatest. But even then, i won't stop. You can never get too good at something, you can never achieve perfection.

When I finish with the blades i put them back in their sheath and strap it to my right thigh. There's no such thing as being too prepared.

The washing machine is done in 20 minutes and i put the hoodie to dry on a stool near the lit fireplace. I put the jeans outside because I don't care as much for them.

I'm bored out of my skull and it's just 3.30 in the afternoon.

Maybe a nap? I slept for like, 5 hours at best and the mess at the grocery store didn't help. Yeah, a nap sounds good. I lay down on the couch and close my eyes.

-

I startle awake.

The room is darker, how long did I sleep? What woke me up?

It's a bit past 5pm and i feel... on edge. Something's gonna happen and i don't know if it's good or bad. I honestly can't tell.

I have the strangest urge to go get all the things I got from my family and keep them close. So i do, I trust my gut.

Tety's hoodie is still a bit damp on the edges but I get the sweater off and wear it nonetheless. I get Ros's leather jacket and put it on, dad's badge stuffed its poket. I already have mom's watch and Kane's bracelet on.

I slip one of my knives, a black one, out of the sheath and clutch the thin metal handle, ready for a throw.

The silence is almost deafening, the only noise the occasional popping of a log in the fire.

I start to feel cold. So, so cold. The windows and door are closed, the fire still burning. But I can't seem to feel any heath. What's happening to me?

My limbs are so stiff I fall off the couch in an attempt to get closer to the fire. I land on my right knee and I feel the impact but not the pain... even though I know it will hurt later.

I curl into a little ball against the stone wall of the fireplace. Am I shivering? I don't know. I'm so cold that even the blade in my hand feels warmer than me. Not hot by any means, but not as cold as me.

I know I have to stay awake, but my lids at so heavy... so... heavy...

The last thing I see is the crackling fire.

Then the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was all spur of the moment actually.  
> I had a clear idea of what I wanted to happen, but no way of getting there!  
> Then poof, this happened.  
> The human mind works in truly mysterious ways huh.


	9. Down The Rabbit Hole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Dawn Will Come by Folklore Guild.  
> I felt in a YouTube hole and found very nice things, this cover among them!

he first thing that registers when I come back online is the frigid air on my face.

And the fact that I can't move. I'm still too sluggish to panic.

After a while my eyelids become unstuck.

What I see when i open them is... unexplainable.

I'm still curled in a little ball, but... I'm in the middle of the lake. How did I get here?

I can only take shallow breaths, my chest can't expand.

Since my eyes are apparently the only thing I can move, i look up. The sky is full of stars, way more than usual. And... it's a dark purple? Wait, are those THREE full moons?

What the fuck? I... what?

I quickly look down at myself and realize just as quickly that looking at the sky was a better idea after all.

I'm made of stone from my neck all the way down. Just as i start to panic, i notice that the stone is slowly receding, as if I'm going back to being flesh and blood.

Ok. Ok. Calm down, I can wait. After all, like mom liked to say "The sun will rise, the dawn will come. Always."

By the time daylight starts to peek from between the peaks on my left, my upper body is back to normal and I'm laying my back on the ground.

I still have the aeroblade in my hand, but I'll have to wait for my legs to un-stone to put it away.

Then the shit hits the fan. As soon as my knees are free an almost unbearable pain stabs my right knee and i let out a surprised/pained noise. What the hell?

As I lay there sweating and gritting my teeth, i remember falling off the couch.

Shit. Shit. And my crutches are gone. Probably back at the house.

I lay sprawled on the ground as I recover.

Patches of my skin are still stone, but my guess is that they're going to fade to normal over time.

I roll on my left side and look around.

I seem to be on a small island, in front of a tiny Japanese-style shrine. Looks like one person would fit inside, if sitting. What the..?

Stone-me must have been positioned right in front of the 'door'.

Now then, how do I get back?

It's pretty obvious that I have to swim. I'm not far from the shore, but hell, with this leg? Oh boy.

I drag myself into the water, not putting weight on my injured leg.

It's cold but it's nothing compared to the biting chill of... was it last night? How much time passed?

Swimming is hard. Not only my clothes weigh me down, but i can't use my legs so it's all upper body work.

I finally get to the rocky beach and flop down to catch my breath.

As I sit up, Lady Luck smiles at me for the first time in I don't know how long: a few steps to my left is a stick big enough to walk with.

I get the stick, pick a random direction and start walking.

Not even a couple of minutes in and i come to a halt again, my heart seeming to stop when my feet do.

Impossible. This is... this is a dream.

It has to be. I... what... What?

In front of me is a deserted town, its houses reclaimed by nature, covered in plants and trees.

The metal arch above me is rusted with age and missing a few letters.

But the name of this town is unmistakable.

North Hatley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first real cliffhanger!  
>  I wonder what happens...


	10. Lucky Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waves by Dean Lewis.  
> I like the acoustic version better, but both versions are good!

To say I'm speechless is an understatement.

What the fuck? What the absolute fuck?

If I had a plan this is the moment it would have been catapulted in the air by a table flip of epic proportions.

I'm sitting on the cracked cement and I didn't even notice sliding to the ground.

How long I sit there I don't know but suddenly a sense of dread assaults me. I hear a rustling in the distance and i know I have to move, but where do I go? The town is in fucking shambles. Best bet is the cabin, I guess. Fortunately the rustling I heard was in the opposite direction.

I start shuffling down the worn path along the once-pristine road, fast. Why fast? Because I had two lucky moments in a row and given my track record? That's bad news, to put it mildly.

I don't know how long it takes since the watch has gone still but finally get back home. I breathe a sigh of relief. The cabin seems untouched, if covered in patches of moss and ivy.

Miraculously, my keys are in the pocket of the jacket so I go and open the door. Or rather, I try. The key doesn't fit. The only keys on my keyring are to the house in Sherbrooke, the key for the Impala and the one that opens the cabin. To add to that, they're all different. There's no way I got it wrong. I try again and again it doesn't turn.

Did someone... Did someone change the lock? This is my house! This... this... this is my house!!

I'm baffled once again. I... I need to think. I sit on the steps that lead to the door and drop my head in my hands. What... What do I do now?

My knee decides to remind me that it took on hell of a fall. It hurts and it's not the same ache of the past months, it's sharp and throbbing. I jam one of my hands in the hoodie's pocket, hoping to find the painkillers I brought for the trip. No such luck.

What I find instead is a hairpin and a paperclip. Wait...

I scramble as carefully as I can to sit in front of the door to try picking the lock. This is a skill dad taught all of his kids, for a possible kidnapping. As an officer of the law, he never underestimated his enemies. He also taught us to shoot, but after what he did I hope to never have to use a gun.

After a bit of delicate rummaging, I hear the satisfying 'click' of the door unlocking. I get my stick and force myself up, walking inside and closing the door after me.

What I see is... confusing.

This is my house, of that I'm sure. But, huh, I'm sure I'd remember filling every flat surface with things straight out of an alchemy lab.

The table, top of the washing machine, counters and the shelf above the fireplace are full of herbs and ingredients that I have no name for. What once were drawers in the staircase are now shelves for colorful liquids in glass bottles of every color and shape.

Uuuh... What in the fresh hell...

My knee smarts again. I have to sit down. The couch is blissfully witchy stuff-free and I can sprawl on it. Which I do.

The happenings of the day come in waves hitting me once again, one after the other. They fill me with questions.

What happened to me? Why was in a shrine in the middle of a lake? Who put me there? What happened to North Hatley? What was the rustling I heard?

Who the fuck lives in my house?? That one snaps me back. Someone is living here. And they might not be friendly. Just my fuckin luck.

I reach in the sheath and draw a knife, again a black one.

And so I start waiting. For what? For who? That I don't know.

But one thing I know is this: I'll be ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a lot of knives in this story...  
> D and I share the same love for sharp weapons, I guess?


	11. Hostile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Man Standing by People in Planes.  
> Yes, I am aware this one was in The Walking Dead.  
> Which I have never watched.

I startle awake to the creaking of floorboards from outside. Damn, I dozed off. Also, someone is outside, so I'm pretty sure falling asleep is the last of my problems.

I silently kick the stick under the couch, far enough so that it can't be seen but close enough that I can grab it. As smoothly as I can, I slide to the floor and hide behind the armrest closest to the fireplace: I'm hidden but I still can see the door if I peek to the side. Only an idiot who wants to be spotted peeks over the top.

I hear a key being inserted in the lock and turning, only for the stranger to find the door already unlocked. "What the..?" I hear him say.

Pretty sure it's a him, with that deep a voice.

The door slowly swings open and I clutch my blade, ready for a throw.

The whine of the wood tells me the stranger has stepped inside, and I don't need anything else. I jump out, my knee screaming in protest, aim and hurl the blade. Even before the smooth metal leaves my grasp I know it won't miss.

When dad taught us how to shoot, he told us to never pull the trigger unless we wanted to hit the target. And I want to hit my target. This is my home, the only thing that remains of my family and I'll be damned if I let some thief take it from me.

The man grunts out a pained "Fuck!" and falls down heavily, clutching at his left shoulder and dropping the paper bag he was carrying.

I didn't go for a killing blow, I need answers. I limp my way to the man, a second knife ready. My knees start to tremble but I don't feel pain, the adrenaline keeps me going for now.

The man isn't a man: he's a guy, a teenager. Maybe 18 or 19. His eyes are an almost glowing yellow, the pupils mere slits. My heart hurts. Tety's eyes were like that. His skin is so dark I'm pretty sure it's pure black, his messy white hair a shocking contrast to it. Are... are his ears pointy?

We're staring at each other for a small eternity: him looking up at me, his eyes wide in surprise and... awe? Me towering over him, scowling and occasionally shaking from the waist down.

I put the tip of my blade under his chin and finally break the silence. "What are you doing in my house?" My voice is low, almost a whisper, rough and scratchy from disuse.

The boy keeps staring, no words coming from his mouth. Too busy gaping at me.

I know there is no mercy in my eyes. And I let him see it. It's almost as time isn't flowing anymore and we're the only ones in this wrecked land. And, for all I know, that might be the truth.

For now, it feels as if we are locked in a duel and if one of us stops looking at the other, it will mean true death.

So I keep my gaze fixed on him.

Because I want to be the last man standing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D may or may not be one of those "shoot first, ask questions later" types.  
> Maybe.
> 
> Also, I almost wrote "What are you doing in my swamp" because my brain thinks in memes.


	12. Surreal Situations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted by Todrick Hall.  
> I like his songs and he does drag too!

"You..." he begins to say. I arch an eyebrow, signaling him to go on.

"You're the Obsidian Lady..." he breathes out.

... What. That's not what I expected. Like, at all.

"Who?" I'm frowning now.

"Wh- when we moved in-" we? "you were there near the fireplace and the hunt is still open even after so long so it wasn't safe for someone like you so-"

I stop his ramblings by pressing the blade under his chin.

"Wait wait wait. Hold up. The hunt? Someone like me?" I feel myself scowl. "Do you know what happened to me?"

His eyes widen. Apparently he realizes something and feels this is too serious a conversation to have on the floor, so he starts to slowly rise to his feet and I let him.

He's... tall. He's still clutching at his shoulder, but the bleeding has stopped. Somehow.

Keeping my knife up seems stupid, now that he's above me. I tuck the blade against my forearm in a defensive position.

"... You don't know." He shakes his head. "Of course you don't, you've slept for what I guess is... a long time."

What was he about to say before that pause? How much is, exactly, a long time? I'm about to ask more when-

My knees unhinge and I'm falling. I can't brace myself anywhere and I know I'll land on my knees and damge them even more.

But I never hit the ground.

Faster than my eyes can track, the stranger shoots across the space separating us and hooks his left arm around my waist, his right hand landing on my waist, and presses me close. I automatically loop my arm around his neck, accidentally putting the blade on his nape. I grasp his uninjured shoulder with my free hand and hold on.

My eyes are wide in surprise and so are his. We stare at each other. Again.

"I, uh, think we should... sit?"

Is he asking me or telling me? I answer nonetheless.

"... okay."

I expect him to let me go and head to the couch, but that's not what happens. Instead, he bends down and scoops me up bridal style. We both hiss in pain: me for putting pressure on my knee, him for my weight tugging at his wound. I feel a tiny spark of guilt.

He walks in a smooth gait, concentrating on not jostling me. He then sets me down gently, even lifting my legs on the couch.

I don't understand why he's treating me with such care. I stabbed him!

He shifts a few things around to sit on the sturdy table so that we can talk face to face.

Silence. Again.

"You should treat that." I say, nodding to his bloody shoulder.

He double blinks at me, frowning like what I just said doesn't make sense. Then he makes an "ah" sound and says:

"Don't worry, it'll heal on its own. Although," he wraps his hand around the blade's handle, "I should probably give this back to you."

And he yanks the blade out. Before I can internally freak out, he rips the sleeve of his t-shirt off to show me the cut. It's like watching a flower bloom, you know it's blooming but you can't actually track the movements. He's healing, the cut slowly knitting back to unmarred skin. How...?

I scowl. It seems like it's only thing I do these days.

"Just who are you?" I say 'who' because saying 'what' would be rude.

He grins at me, showing off sharp canines.

"I could ask you the same thing."

He offers me my blade in lieu of a handshake.

"I'm Loki, nice to meet you."

Loki. Really. Unbelievable.

I snatch the knife from his hand and put it back in the sheath.

"Well, Loki, fess up."

His eyebrows shoot up.

"You're not gonna tell me your name?"

"I don't trust you."

Yet. My gut tells me he's not a threat, but since the accident I tend to be more cautious.

"Why? Even after how I treated you? You wound me. Again!"

He covers his heart and closes his eyes in a despaired expression. I feel my lips twiching. Must not smile. Then he peeks open one eye and I can see the mischief shining in his gaze. I bite my lip and try not to laugh.

Oh yeah. This one's definitely a Loki.

How long has it been since I last even wanted to laugh?

I snap back to what we were saying and go back to scowling.

"Irrelevant. Now start talking. Why is it dangerous for 'someone like me'?"

He suddenly looks somber.

"It's because your kind has the equivalent of a big, fat 'wanted' on its head."

Wh..

What the fuck!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D is the equivalent of an old, angry stray cat who dislikes people.  
> Loki is... well. The name says it all, no?


	13. Answers And New Grief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flares by The Script.   
> I feel like the lyrics redlect what D feels at any give moment.
> 
> Warning: re-mention of a previous suicide.

"What the fuck!"

If I had the strength, I'd jump to my feet in surprise.

Loki seems to realize what he said and how he said it and starts flailing his hands around.

"I mean, uh, it's not like that- I mean, it is but-" he stops waving his arms around and heaves a sigh. "I don't even know where to start."

"How about you start from explaining what you mean by 'my kind'?"

He double blinks.

"Yeah, that seems reasonable."

He clears his throat and begins once again.

"You do know you're an Ancient, right?"

I scowl even harder and this is the moment I know for certain that I'm gonna be full of wrinkles by 30. If I live to see 30.

"I know. But how do YOU know?"

Loki clicks his tongue and wags his index finger in front of my face, which I'm this close to cutting it off.

"Ah ah ah, I'm getting there."

He proceeds to lace his hands together in his lap, as if he's a out to give a speech. I am not impressed.

"So. Ancients got their power from the Gods across many pantheons, wether because each family descended from a demigod or because that particular God or Goddess blessed the whole family line, well, nobody knows."

He pauses and I motion with my hand for him to go on.

"One legend says they did that to select one Champion to represent them, for what I have no idea, while another states that they would choose one of the mortals blessed by them to train and teach to then pass the mantle on to them."

This is total news to me. Both of those things sound so far fetched to me. I thought we were just... there. An old vestige of the Gods, either fallen or in hiding.

But there's one thing that bugs me. I really don't want to spill my story while I still feel so raw from the loss, especially to a relative stranger. But I have to. I take a deep breath.

"From what I understand, one family has the blessing of one single deity, correct?"

Loki nods.

"So one family has only one gift, right?"

He nods again, slower and almost suspicious. He doesn't know where I'm going with this.

"Then I don't get it. My family-" my voice cracks slightly, "me, my siblings and my mother had all different powers."

Loki's expression shifts to one of utter shock, gaping and wide eyed.

"That's not... That's not how it works..."

He props an elbow on his knee and taps one finger on his chin. His head shoots up.

"Wait. If they really do have different gifts than you then we absolutely have to find them! Then, maybe-"

"That's a dead end." Literally.

"Why..?"

He hesitates in asking. He knows he's stepped in something, he just doesn't know what.

"They're dead." My voice is flat and monotone.

You could hear a pin drop in the sudden silence.

"... Oh." He ruffles his hair and looks down. "I'm sorry."

I nod and close my eyes for a moment. If I talk I'm gonna cry. I don't want to cry.

When I open my eyes again, Loki is watching me with sad eyes. There's no pity in them. His emotions reflect his eyes: the only things I can sense are sadness, like the weight under your eyes after you're done crying, and worry, as if something is pressing on my chest.

"... Go on." I pause. "Please."

Loki tilts his head and frowns a tiny bit, but does as I asked.

"A long time ago, one of the Gods consulted many Seers, among them the Oracle of Delphi and others. I don't know what prompted the visit, but basically the oracles all said the same thing: a particularly powerful family of Ancients would one day overthrow them. And you know how seriously Gods take prophecies."

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. I do know.

"My money is on Zeus. It had to be him asking around, the paranoid bastard. So, the whole shindig threw almost all the Gods in a panic so what did they do? They started wiping out all Ancients, that's what."

His voice takes an angry note towards the end and it burns along my skin. He visibly calms himself down and continues.

"In the beginning, they started orchestrating freak accidents-" what? "and the like but... It wasn't enough for them."

The next part seems even harder on Loki.

"Zeus abducted a Gorgon, I don't know if it was the original Medusa or one of her descendants, but what he did was... He tricked or convinced Hecate and other deities of magic to amplify the Gorgon's power to petrify and..."

I think I know where this is going.

"... He made them aim it at the Ancients."

I know in my very soul that the tale Loki just told me is true.

So when I put away the blade and he takes my hand to squeeze it in support, well... I let him. We stay like that for a while.

The pain of loss flares up in my chest.

Accidents. I thought my family died in an accident.

But it wasn't an accident at all. It was murder.

I don't know why, but I tell him.

"My family... They died in a car accident. I... survived and the doctors called it a miracle. It doesn't feel like it. My dad wasn't in the car, but after the funeral... He killed himself. Shot himself in my room, while I was in the hospital in a coma."

I don't know what I want Loki to say. There's nothing to say, nothing that feels right.

What he does makes me almost cry, for some strange reason: he bows his head over my hand and touches my knuckles to his forehead.

I feel a hot tear sliding down my cheek.

"D." I whisper.

Loki rolls his eyes upward, looking a me.

"My name is D."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL;DR: Zeus is a dick.   
> What is new?  
> D feels things and opens up a little.  
> Angry, slightly softer cat.


	14. Faithfully

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Without You by for KING & COUNTRY ft. Courtney.  
> The words really poured out of my head while listening to this song's lyrics.

I open my eyes and find myself back in the lake. And I'm swimming.

The sky above me is the same deep purple it was when I first woke up and the three moons shine amidst an ocean of stars.

I feel... peaceful.

I stop swimming and just float on my back, staring up at constellations I've never seen.

I feel a hand brush mine but I'm not scared. As our fingers intertwine, I look to the side and i see him. Ros is floating right next to me. He's here, with me, and I couldn't be happier.

He tugs at my hand and guides me to the little island with the shrine. We sit on the shore, legs still in the water, and I rest my head on his shoulder. He rests his head on top mine.

"How are you holding up?"

I snort.

"Really? That's the first thing you ask?"

"It's a legitimate question."

I sigh.

"I'm... struggling."

"Why?"

I raise my head to look at him properly.

"Why? Why??" My tone is incredulous. "How about the fact that the car accident wasn't an accident but murder? How about finding out that I was left alone on this bitch of an earth?"

I see that he's about to say something but I don't let him. I'm on a roll now.

"And let's not forget all the new things I discovered and that mom decided to keep a secret!"

The whole time I'm talking he tries to step in, but after I say this he shuts his mouth with a pensive look.

"Do you really think mom kept us in the dark?"

I nod. "She had to know at least the general gist of it. Why would we keep moving from one city to another?"

Ros frowns. He's thinking about it.

"Do you think dad knew?"

I shake my head. "Who knows. Maybe."

I sit lotus style to face him and, to my surprise, it doesn't hurt. Any hope I held that this was real dies with the absence of pain.

"Why are you here, Ros? Why can't I see mom or Tety and Kane? Or, Hell, even dad?"

He doesn't make a joke out of it, like he usually would.

"They went to the Afterlife. I guess it all happened so fast for them and they didn't have the time to make a conscious decision."

I wait for him to go on but he doesn't. He's not looking at me, his gaze lost in the distance.

"Ros," I'm on the verge of tears, " why are you here?"

He finally looks at me, a sweet and tranquil smile on his lips.

"I stayed."

I can feel the tears falling from my eyes.

Ros puts his arm around me and hugs me close. I hold on with all of me, burrowing my face in the crook of his neck.

"I stayed for you. I was confused at first, but then... I knew. I knew what had happened and that I wouldn't survive."

I gasp and cry harder.

"I couldn't leave you and move on. We promised we'd never be alone." He's crying with me now. "And you fought for me. You didn't leave me when you fell in the lake. This is... the best I could do."

He stayed. Because of me.

We hold on to each other and just cry. A pair of broken twins, bound by a cruel destiny.

Ros cups my face into his hands and i do the same, our foreheads touching.

"D." I look into his eyes. "You have to go back now."

My eyes widen.

"No! I can't... I can't go without you! Please!"

He closes his eyes and takes a shuddering breath, more tears running down his cheeks.

He places a tender kiss on my forehead and speaks against my skin.

"Wake up."

It's two voices speaking the same words at the same time. And I know both of them.

Everything starts to fade away and last thing I see is Ros's mismatched eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted the twins to see each other again, even if only in a dream. And who says it's not real?  
> I have a lot of dark feelings lately and writing chapters like this helps a lot.


	15. Of Gods And Men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose Far From Home by 5FDP because it's one of my favorite songs and really, could D be farther away from home?

I have a face in my face. That's what comes to mind as soon as I wake up.

I shift my head on the pillow so that my eyes don't cross trying to focus on Loki's face. I squint at him as he leans back to sit on a small stool.

"What are you doing?" I groggily ask.

"I'm watching over you."

I pull myself up in a sitting position.

"Was I not breathing?"

He's visibly taken aback.

"What?"

"It looked like you were about to give me mouth to mouth with how close you were."

It's hard to say with his dark skin, but I think he's blushing.

"Ah, no... You, uh, smelled different."

"... What."

He starts to fiddle with his hands.

"You see, everyone has their specific scent. You smell like mint and pine trees, but while you were asleep..." He tilts his head. "Well, another scent mixed with yours. It was like nothing I've ever come across."

"What do you mean?"

"It kept changing... It was like smelling the ocean breeze at first. Then it shifted to mint, very similar to your scent. I just... don't know."

But I'm not listening anymore.

The dream. It was real, it was really Ros.

... _Yes, I'm here_...

Loki's hand gently squeezes my shoulder.

"D? You okay? You look like you're about to cry."

I take a deep breath and nod. And I look around for the first time since waking up.

"Loki? Why am I upstairs?"

His look clearly says 'isn't it obvious?'

"I brought you up here. It's not like I could make you sleep on the couch."

What kind of person puts a stranger to sleep in their bed?? Because it's obviously his bed now since I've been out of commission for who knows how long.

I let it go, no use arguing now.

I notice Loki has a very curious sparkle in his eyes.

I sigh.

"You look like you want to ask me something."

He lights up.

"I do! I have so many questions..."

I expect him to start bombarding me but he doesn't. He looks expectant, though. Is he waiting for me to give the go ahead? How polite.

"Ask."

"Ooookay first things first: I was thinking about your... family" he hesitates, but when he sees I don't make comment he goes on. "If you give me their names, maybe I can track down where they ended up."

Of all the things I imagined he'd ask, this wasn't even on my radar.

"Why?"

"It seems important to you. From your reactions, it's not been long for you since their passing."

It's not been long for me? My stomach drops at the implications, but now it's not the time.

Loki continues.

"I also think we should look into why you lot are so different from other Ancients."

A question pops into my mind.

"About that. You know what I am, but what about you? What are you?"

"I'm an Elf. A Dark Elf, to be exact. Ah but I'm not, like, evil. That's just... my species."

A Dark Elf. Really. What is this, Dungeons & Dragons?

Moving on.

"What about humans?"

He looks confused.

"What about them?"

"Aren't they a problem? Humans don't tend to be accepting."

Now he looks uncomfortable.

"Ah... remember the petrifying spell?"

I nod, but I'm puzzled. What has that to do with this?

"So, turns out that it kinda went a bit... awry. Every 'pure' human was, uhm, killed in the process."

Silence. A recurring theme.

Gotta focus.

"What does 'pure' mean?"

"Having even a bit of supernatural blood would have saved the person, so those who didn't... Well."

This is... too complicated to say the least, so I turn back to a simpler topic.

"So you wanted out names?"

It's obvious that Loki lets me change the subject.

"Yeah. I know that the most powerful child of every Ancient generation gets named after the blessing deity, something about how the mother senses it's the right child to name that way, but it's different with you. Right?"

I run a hand through my hair.

Different. That's one way to put it, I guess.

"Right. My siblings and I were all named after different deities."

I trust Loki, but... But. The same old anxiety rears its ugly head. Starting when we were children, mom hammered into our heads to never tell our True Name to anyone.

But mom is dead. Ros is dead, as are Tety, Kane and dad. And while I'm physically here, I'm so far from home that it doesn't matter anymore.

I can't protect them anymore.

While I face my doubts Loki waits, as if he knows what I'm thinking. And that seals my decision.

"My mother, Kery, was Ceridwen Avitus, after the Celtic Goddess of knowledge and magic."

Loki starts to write down what I'm saying.

"My twin was named Anteros, Ros for short, like the Greek God of love. Then there was Tety, Bastet... Egyptian Cat Goddess of protection. And the youngest was Kane, Omoikane, Japanese God of knowledge and wisdom." I look at Loki and smile sadly. "My dad's name was John Lewis, but I don't think knowing that helps you."

Loki stares at me intently, as if trying to solve a complicated riddle.

"I'm glad you chose to tell me. I'm glad you chose to trust me."

I sense a but coming.

"But what about you?"

Called it.

"What about me?"

I know exactly what he's asking, but I pretend I don't.

"Your name, D. Your True Name. Will you tell me?"

I shake my head vehemently.

"Not yet."

"Why?"

"I don't want you to hate me."

I don't know where that came from, but it's true.

He clearly doesn't understand.

"Why would I hate you?"

I don't answer. I fear that whatever I say is going to give him a hint and he'll figure it out. This time he's the one to sigh. Is he mad?

"Ok, I understand, I'm not angry." He nods to himself as he gets up. "Come on, I'll take take you downstairs and make you breakfast. You slept for a long time, you need to eat something."

A long time...

"Loki... What day is it?"

Something flashes in his eyes. It's too fast for me to see but I feel it crawl all over me, making me break down in a cold sweat.

Fear.

"... December 27th."

He's avoiding answering as much as I was before.

My voice is soft when I ask the next question.

"What year is it, Loki?"

His back is to me when he gives his chilling answer.

"6718."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some questins were answered, but not all of them!  
> And a long time seems to have passed...
> 
> I'm literally making most things up as I go, so please bear with me!
> 
> Please leave kudos or a comment if you feel like it (please I need human contact).


	16. Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the choice of song is pretty self explanatory: Ashes by Celine Dion.
> 
> As always, a thank you to Gi for beta reading!  
> You can find her at write-gallagher on tumblr   
> :)

Everything is still.

Loki is at the foot or the bed, his back to me.

I'm trying to make sense of what he just said.

If I understand correctly, 4700 years have passed since that day. Millennia. All the things, all the people I knew are long gone, dead and forgotten.

What I feel is... bittersweet.

Since the day of the accident, the only thing I wanted was to be forgotten. Everywhere I went, whispers would follow me, rumours would start and... the feelings. Pity, sorrow, guilt and even anger.

Anger at me.

Because I've always been the outcast, the loner. The one person no one would mind disappearing was the only one to survive.

So yes, I wanted a fresh start... but on my terms, not like this.

But it is how it is. And as the seconds pass I feel... lighter.

Sure, the circumstances may be odd but this is my chance.

My chance at redemption.

The people I would have mourned are already gone. My family is gone.

If I'm blessed enough to find someone to one day call family once again, or even just a dear friend, I can protect them better. I can cherish them because love is precious.

And maybe it's just my wishful thinking but... I feel like Loki is someone I can trust. I want to be able to help him and be there if he needs me.

Maybe I'm just latching on the first person that shows no pity to me. Maybe I'm just being selfish and putting him on a pedestal. But I don't think that's it. Do I like him? He's a good person. My heart still feels too heavy to consider anything more than a friendship right now.

But all of that can't happen while I am so deep in my own grief.

So I make my decision and let the pain go. I understand that it can't go away all at once. I probably will always carry some degree of guilt and sorrow. But just making the conscious decision to let myself love again is... freeing. I feel like I'm slowly emerging from underneath all the pain, guilt and grief... Like a Phoenix reborn from ashes.

I take a deep breath and look up.

"Loki."

He turns his head just enough to peer at me, his face guarded, and stays silent.

"How about that breakfast?"

He turns fully to me, his eyes wide and, dare I say, a little shiny.

I smile at him and, for the first time, it's not sad.

"Will you help me go downstairs?"

He smiles back and it's a little wobbly.

"Okay."

He gently scoops me up and proceeds to do just that.

-

We are snuggled under a fluffy blanket on the couch on the porch, mugs of tea in hand and looking at the lake.

The sun hangs just above the mountain and, as with the moons, it's different: one third of it seems to have broken off from the star and the fragments of that broken part are still near the sun... and still shine. It's strangely beautiful.

I take a sip of the tea. There's a lot of lemon in it, just as I like it.

"I thought we were all supposed to die if the sun exploded."

Loki snorts.

"Yeah well, I heard it exploded like 3 thousands years ago and there was a massive heat wave, but that was it."

"That's... weirdly disappointing."

Loki almost spits out his tea as he starts laughing.

"Why, D, do you have a taste for destruction?"

I almost choke on the next sip, but quickly understand that he's just playing with me. I turn up my nose and sniff at him.

"Mayyyyybe."

He snickers and shakes his head.

We return to our companionable silence and for once it's peaceful.

The day passes just like that, going inside but ultimately returning to watch the lake under our blanket, chatting about nothing and teasing each other.

And if I slowly scoot closer to touch my shoulder to his, well... that's my little secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted these two poor souls to have a break, even if it's a small one.  
> I mean, D was in a pit of grief and let's not forget Loki got stabbed...

**Author's Note:**

> And so it begins! So many things to find out...
> 
> I apologize for any grammar errors, English is not my first language.
> 
> I tend to write short chapters, since I have to juggle a few things.
> 
> I hope you liked it!


End file.
